When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space…

The jar of a heartbeat

19 Comments

        conundrum

Amelia feels the jar of a heartbeat
wrapped around unspoken words

        hesitation

The phone is ringing
A turmoil of fears clutter her thoughts

        exposure

Amelia answers
Words are spoken

        entropy

Amelia releases a secret
Possibilities scatter around

        peace

Amelia feels the enchantment of freedom


_____Adriana Citlali
XIII-VIII-MMXVI
XV-VIII-MMXVI

Time for a Quadrille at dVerse: a 44-word poem that has to include today’s word jar.

Source: Quadrille #13 | dVerse


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Author: Adriana Citlali Ramírez

A citizen of the world, born in Mexico city... A physicist (working as a geophysicist) and a part-time artist (creative writing, oil/acrylic painting, photography)… All posts and poems ©Adriana Citlali Ramírez. All rights reserved.

19 thoughts on “The jar of a heartbeat

  1. I wonder what was the secret that lifted the chains off her heart. 🙂 But speaking the heart at times does seem freeing. I liked the turmoil in the story.

  2. Love this. I feel as though I am pulling fantastic words from a jar, and searching for their true meaning. Just wonderful.

  3. You captured the tension of the uncertain. it made me glad when you found relief at last

  4. Jar of a heartbeat…I love this line as well as the freedom in the end!

  5. You really build up the suspense up until the last line. Well done.

  6. I love the shades of meaning of your opening line, Adriana.

  7. Oh that tension until the secret’s spilled… Jar of heartbeat, I could feel that…

  8. I can feel that jarred heartbeat when the phone rang…and then the release of tension as the secret spilled. Well done!

  9. Oh, intriguing. You made us want to hear moreeee.

  10. You seem to have pulled us into the heat of a story. I love the form that you used.

  11. Oh this is wonderful..as you take us through each step from conundrum to resolve.

  12. I really like how you wrote this, word by word with the lines underneath. Fear, secrets, release….wonderful!

  13. I want to know more! I loved the progression in this.

  14. Beautifully structured. You tell us everything, and yet keep the secret.

  15. There is a release in the right kind of telling.
    I like the structure of this poem. Well done.

  16. I’m glad you brought it to that positive conclusion. 🙂

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