When space is silence…

Words, sounds, and space…

Overwhelmed

25 Comments

Just in the last month, Amelia has:
      1) Randomly silenced her phone
      2) Hid five times from her diary
      3) Walked on eggshells around her own thoughts
      4) Slept ten nights with her head under the pillow
      5) Snoozed six rounds for  at least  seven mornings

Amelia is now charged with selfishness
            Oh!    So guilty!     –she accepts.

            Others in pain     –she feels.
Those weeks that might be minutes
the sorrow     the fight of the peaceful
the corrosion of cancer   in a loving body

Amelia now stares at life as it is:
__ OVERWHELMED __
             How easy is to believe,
             bias what we see,
             justify self-pity.

Amelia lies on the sofa & cries

A tear of stillness falls steadily
while more tears follow:
      1) Ten for not acting
      2) Five for delayed reactions
      3) A dozen for not showing care

Amelia is not proud!

She                           now
      feels like hiding
                                        again

            Oh, but I won’t!     –she dares.
            Not anymore!


_____Adriana Citlali
XVIII-IX-MMXV

Source: Open Link Night | dVerse

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Author: Adriana Citlali Ramírez

A citizen of the world, born in Mexico city... A physicist (working as a geophysicist) and a part-time artist (creative writing, oil/acrylic painting, photography)… All posts and poems ©Adriana Citlali Ramírez. All rights reserved.

25 thoughts on “Overwhelmed

  1. For some reason I could hear Joni Mitchell singing, “Amelia–it was just a false alarm” . Your poem brings tears, touch hearts, sheds light on secrets, reveals ugly truths. Cancer, damned cancer; one of the last of the ancient demons we still are victimized by; killed my mother at 39; but hey, maybe Amelia will get gene therapy, maybe she will beat it!

  2. Its fine to acknowledge that one is overwhelmed by long to do lists ~ Nothing wrong with a good cry but afterwards, what then, is important ~ Good for Amelia to dare herself again & start anew ~

    Good to see you back in D’verse ~ Hope you are well ~

  3. I felt this way when I was diagnosed with cancer….overwhelmed, helpless, imprisoned….but I too came out of hiding. Dared myself not to hide again. Very powerful write this is.

  4. This is such a touching poem… I feel that people who suffer from cancer should be made to feel like they are loved and supported.. so that they can fight it out. Lovely write.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

  5. I feel compassion for Amelia. We are our own worst enemies. The negative self-talk about ourselves doesn’t serve anyone.

    Gayle ~

  6. I am so touched by this. I relate to much of it. I love your very unique writing with the lists.

  7. A very unique way of telling the story (or rather, showing the emotions) of an all-too-familiar situation (sadly). I like the way your numbered lists try to impose some order in the confusion, but then it’s all undone by the scattered lines below. A perfect blend of feeling and layout on the page (and I know it’s not easy to do electronically).

    • Thanks for the feedback on the form. It just felt right to write it the way I did. Your analysis shed some useful light on the reader’s perspective –always highly appreciated. I think you are right, the numbered lists are order in the chaos.

  8. ” How easy is to believe,
    bias what we see,
    justify self-pity. ”

    I love this so much and agree with MarinaSofia there – it’s a very unique way…

  9. I love the form of this, and I think maybe Amelia and I should start a support group. :o)

  10. BigGest changes NOWS
    can start with the smallest
    steps.. then.. change never
    comes without
    a step away
    from
    yester
    now..
    news nows
    steps aheads
    rinGs nows news..:)

  11. It’s sad to have to hide…..at least there is compassion for the ill….wonderful support is available…I feel fortunate to not have many friends or family with it, a few. But it is so widespread and I hear there is a cure, very simple, that we many not have been informed about?

    • This sickness touches so many people. One way or another, I think we have all been touched by cancer. Sometimes the stories have a happier ending than others.
      There are so many motivations in this world (money, power, etc.), that it is difficult to know if a hidden cure actually exists. Don’t you think?

  12. Such an effective way to bring up this difficult issue. I’ve worked with death and dying most of my nursing career and that reaction is so expected, at least for awhile. When facing a life-threatening disease, as I have, some choose that as a response–other go on the offense. All I recall it taking it day by day and doing what I had to to survive. Mind you, it wasn’t cancer and I had a good option but, seriously, looking back, I don’t know if I would have the energy to go through that again. Love the lists in this.

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