Beat #1

December 3, 2015 by Adriana Citlali Ramírez 20 Comments

A cloud melted my dreams last month,
before dissolving itself into sound and rainbow.
I wonder why.

_____Adriana Citlali
III-XII-MMXV

Author: Adriana Citlali Ramírez

A citizen of the world, born in Mexico city... A physicist (working as a geophysicist) and a part-time artist (creative writing, oil/acrylic painting, photography)… All posts and poems ©Adriana Citlali Ramírez. All rights reserved.

20 thoughts on “Beat #1”

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Grace
December 3, 2015 at 8:52 pm

Such an intriguing short crisp poem ~ I like the dissolving itself into sound and rainbow.

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Victoria C. Slotto
December 3, 2015 at 9:01 pm

A beautiful moment, well-imagined. Nice to see you, Adriana. Hope to see you today or tomorrow at dVerse.

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- Adriana Citlali Ramírez
  December 3, 2015 at 9:02 pm
  
  I will do my best to join, Victoria. Thanks for stopping by.
  
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- Victoria C. Slotto
  December 3, 2015 at 9:07 pm
  
  Of course….you are already here!!! Well, hope to see you often in the future.
  
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  - Adriana Citlali Ramírez
    December 3, 2015 at 9:10 pm
    
    Hahaha! I thought that something special was going to happen soon at dVerse, and that you were giving a heads up… Anyway, on second thoughts, there is something special each time at the poets pub.
    
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Mary
December 3, 2015 at 9:07 pm

Just lovely, Adriana. Sometimes it is the short poems that leave the strongest impression. A cloud melting into sound and rainbow – love it!

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- Adriana Citlali Ramírez
  December 3, 2015 at 9:11 pm
  
  I did a lot of writing and deleting today. This is what survived…. smiles!
  
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Glenn Buttkus
December 3, 2015 at 9:31 pm

Brevity worn as bravery; you ain’t afraid of shortness. I enjoyed the piece, & yes, you accomplished the synesthesia as well.

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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
December 3, 2015 at 9:38 pm

The first line is absolutely stunning… and it build itself so well into that last line… in brevity it says it all…

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Sanaa Rizvi
December 3, 2015 at 11:23 pm

Pure perfection 😀

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Bodhirose
December 4, 2015 at 1:22 am

A beautiful synesthesia image of a cloud melting a dream. Nature often leaves us wondering…

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katiemiafrederick
December 4, 2015 at 3:26 am

Smiles.. November
clouds are clouds
of past that
melt dreams
for me
until
Spring Sun
comes again..
somehow i erased
the clouds from the
sky.. decades practice..:)

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- Adriana Citlali Ramírez
  December 4, 2015 at 12:12 pm
  
  I used to love clouds when I was living in Mexico City… Sunny days, year long spring temperature, white puffy clouds. I am not sure I love them in Norway –might need to borrow your eraser.
  
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  - katiemiafrederick
    December 4, 2015 at 4:42 pm
    
    Ugh.. I’m never moving north but I’m always moving and that is the secret of my eraser of dark human clouds.. Adrianna.. Dance free Dance.. Just dance free..:)
    
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voiceless2010
December 4, 2015 at 3:36 am

I love short poems. As a reader, they turn on my imagination because there’s so much room to apply the poet’s image to my own experience. Wonderful. I think this one could even be shorter, maybe without the last line, leaving just the image? 🙂 But wonderful regardless.

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kanzensakura
December 4, 2015 at 4:41 am

Beautiful image – and as brief as rainbows often are. Bravo on the brevity as well!

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georgeplace2013
December 4, 2015 at 1:07 pm

Writing and deleting led to a crisp, beautiful poem.

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writersdream9
December 4, 2015 at 6:02 pm

The brevity only serves to intensify!

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Kathy Reed
December 5, 2015 at 2:43 pm

Nicely put….and ‘why’?

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Misky
December 5, 2015 at 4:27 pm

Sharp and short, and lingering with unanswered questions. Nice.

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